Short Cummings Audio

by Kevin Cummings · · · · 5 subscribers

Life in six-minute slices. Every episode features a new funny story. Think Erma Bombeck with a PC, Dave Barry with recording software or Garrison Keillor with a microphone... Oh, wait. Strike that last one. If you enjoy clean humor and a slightly skewed perspective on family life (I have two teenage sons...of course my life is skewed-up) please give this show a listen.

2010 2010 in review Jan. 2, 2011
The stats helper monkeys at WordPress.com mulled over how this blog did in 2010, and here&#8217;s a high level summary of its overall blog health: The Blog-Health-o-Meter™ reads Fresher than ever. Crunchy numbers A helper monkey made this abstract painting, &#8230; Continue reading &#8594;<img alt="" border="0" height="1" src="http://stats.wordpress.com/b.gif?host=myfavoriteshortcomings.com&amp;blog=4747472&amp;post=755&amp;subd=myfavoriteshortcomings&amp;ref=&amp;feed=1" …
39 #039 — Back in the Game Jan. 1, 2011
I&#8217;ve been thrust back into the world of dating. So has my wife. Being happily married we didn&#8217;t expect to have to deal with the pressures of institutionalized romance again. What we hadn&#8217;t counted on was being involved in our children&#8217;s dates. It turns out that &#8220;dating&#8221; has gotten a …
38 #038 — Do It Yourself! Dec. 25, 2010
I was at the local Mega-Shop-And-Save last week when I realized I&#8217;d been asked to whitewash the fence&#8230;metaphorically speaking. Actually I was at the cheerfully-named (but badly spelled) &#8220;U Check&#8221; stand scanning and bagging my own purchases. If I wanted lighthearted small talk while I checked out, I&#8217;d have to …
I am an ultra-geek; a true power user; a master of technology. Except when technology turns against me. Which regularly occurs on days when the Earth happens to be in orbit around the Sun. Malicious technology is a serious problem. I don&#8217;t want to suggest a vast, globe-spanning machine conspiracy …
27 #027 — Civic Planning Dec. 11, 2010
Like a lot of small towns in America, my little village of Nowell-by-the-Sea was a poorly planned accident. The only difference is that the buildings average about eight inches in height. The accident started when my wife sent me to a department store in November and I happened to find …
Halloween is over and that means that there are only about fifty more hinting days until Christmas. I personally began my hinting campaign in late July. There&#8217;s no sense in leaving these things to the last minute. The important thing about hinting is that it has to be subtle. For …
36 #036 — The Dating Code Nov. 27, 2010
When a young woman asked my son to the girl&#8217;s choice dance and he didn&#8217;t accept immediately, I offered some fatherly advice. &#8220;Are you nuts? What if she changes her mind? Call her back right now and say you&#8217;ll go!&#8221; &#8220;That wouldn&#8217;t be creative Dad,&#8221; he said in a not-quite-patient …
35 #035 — Magical Thinking Nov. 20, 2010
My children have always believed in magic. When they were little it was the Tooth Fairy, the Easter Bunny and Santa Claus. Now it&#8217;s the Toilet Paper Fairy, the Laundry Bunny and &#8230; well .. Santa still makes the top three so long as he comes through with the goods. …
33 #033 — Home Despairs Nov. 13, 2010
I follow a simple rule for safe living; never enter a home where I have performed any maintenance work on the plumbing or electrical systems. When it comes to home repairs I am the very model of unskilled labor. This isn&#8217;t an inherited trait. Given any domestic mechanical problem, my …
32 #032 — Enjoy This Essay! Nov. 6, 2010
The illuminated sign on the front of the soda dispenser screamed out ENJOY! in letters large and bright enough to be read by nearsighted people in locked closets a half mile away. I wondered why the soda company felt compelled to tell me how to interact with their product. Were …
31 #031 — iPod, Do You? Oct. 30, 2010
Today at the store, I saw a small set of speakers and thought, &#8220;My iPod would probably really like those.&#8221; So I bought them and found out I was right. My iPod really did like them. Readers who are in the mental health field are probably thumbing through their diagnostic …
30 #030 — Business Writing Oct. 23, 2010
From what I can see there are two ways to become insanely wealthy as a writer; pen a best-selling novel or publish a business advice book. These days most best-selling novels deal with globe-and-time-spanning conspiracies, or dueling magicians, or failing marriages, or dueling marriages and failing conspiracies, or failing magicians …
My son was involved in an accident last week. Yes, he was driving. No, he doesn&#8217;t have a license. Yes, he was on a cell phone at the time. No, he&#8217;s not in trouble. The other driver was on a cell phone, too. The only damage was a couple of …
When my wife said it was time to clean the fridge, I considered running away to join the circus as the new assistant for lefty the lion tamer, or maybe the French Foreign Legion, or something really extreme like the Boy Scouts. It&#8217;s not the contents of the fridge which …
26 #026 — Get Lost Oct. 2, 2010
Modern man has trouble keeping up with technology. Then again, modern man gets lost easily. For that matter ancient man, medieval man, renaissance man, industrial man – and pretty men throughout all of history – got lost easily. Getting lost is a guy&#8217;s right &#8212; a privilege of manhood. Of …
25 #025 — Married Strife Sept. 25, 2010
Marriage is about passion. Loving passionately, living passionately, arguing passionately &#8230; about the most trivial matters imaginable. Really. Anybody whose marriage has outlasted the honeymoon can tell you that no lawyers pleading a case before the supreme court ever argued more energetically than a couple trying to settle the question …
24 #024 — Irrational Behavior Sept. 18, 2010
I realized the other day that I&#8217;m nuts. This revelation hit me just after I pulled the fifth dead pen from the cup on my desk, scratched futilely at the page with it, and then returned it to the cup. Did I expect it to heal? Was the passing of …
Life is full of rhythms and patterns. The earth rotates on its axis every twenty-four hours. Bad old ideas are turned into bad new TV shows every Fall. Presidential candidates lie about each other every four years. Even my own home has a rhythm, but it&#8217;s changed over time. Sixteen …
22 #022 — Cell Out Sept. 4, 2010
(Editor&#8217;s Note: I can hear you all saying, &#8220;Hey! What happened to episode 21?&#8221; Not to worry. You&#8217;ll get it. Sometime in November. It&#8217;s a Christmas episode that was originally released in November and it just seemed a little early to let it back out into the world. In the …
(Editor&#8217;s Note: This is a piece I wrote about four years ago and I&#8217;m pleased to announce that my beloved and I will celebrate our twenty-fifth in a couple of weeks.) My beloved and I recently celebrated our twenty-first wedding anniversary. After putting up with me for more than two …