Short Cummings Audio

by Kevin Cummings · · · · 5 subscribers

Life in six-minute slices. Every episode features a new funny story. Think Erma Bombeck with a PC, Dave Barry with recording software or Garrison Keillor with a microphone... Oh, wait. Strike that last one. If you enjoy clean humor and a slightly skewed perspective on family life (I have two teenage sons...of course my life is skewed-up) please give this show a listen.

19 #19 Secret Agent Dad Aug. 21, 2010
The agent crept across the floor, taking each step with precision. His stockinged foot landed on a sharp object unseen in the dark and he winced in pain, drawing a sudden, sharp breath to stifle a scream. He paused. Had he been heard? “Whaaaaa!” The baby starting crying. Any first-year …
My wife and I take two radically different approaches to gardening. She negotiates with Mother Nature, trying to find the perfect plants which blend with the environment. I engage in acts of malicious horticulture, using poisons and sharp implements to impose my will upon the earth. She’s all about free-form …
In our family we “do” Science Fair the same way other families “do” soccer…or gymnastics…or professional ice skating…or junior beauty pageants…or organized crime. We don’t so much “do” Science Fair as live it. Our Science Fair efforts are generally divided into four phases — Planning, Production, Panic, and Performance. (Full …
16 #016 — Digital Photo Fun July 31, 2010
Recently I attended a graduation for a small class of registered nurses. There were twenty graduates, sixty invited guests and two-thousand digital cameras. If sasquatch had shambled through the auditorium we’d have had definitive photographic evidence of his existence….along with his hair color (brown), eye color (brown), and shoe-size (fifty-one …
I built my youngest son a new dresser this week. That would be a lot more impressive if the dresser hadn’t come from Walmart in packaging that resembled an oversize pizza box. And, with a little luck and some caution, it won’t actually collapse and bury him in a flash-flood …
14 #014 — Wait Right Here July 17, 2010
Earlier this week my car asked to be taken to the shop for repairs. A deep, distressed growl replaced the normal quiet hum of road noise. Either I’d developed a mechanical problem or a dyspeptic grizzly had taken up residence under the hood. Frankly, given the usual cost of a …
You’ll forgive me if I’m a little terse right now. I’m recovering from an attack of Irritable Dad Syndrome. Although you may not have heard of IDS before, it is a serious problem in this country. IDS afflicts virtually all fathers at some point. Fully half of the fathers in …
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. I think that I may be getting old. As evidence, I offer the fact that this past Father’s Day I received socks and a ties and I was happy about that. A younger man might have wanted …
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. I seem to be having trouble with my short-term memory. From one moment to the next I can’t recall what I was saying, what I’m doing, why I’m here and – in extreme instances – who I …
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. Blackberries don’t float. At least mine doesn’t. I dropped it in a bathroom sink this week and it plunged straight to the bottom. To be fair, though, my Blackberry isn’t a fruit. For the uninitiated (definition: anyone …
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. The greetings card industry has a lot to answer for when it comes to providing sentiments for all occasions. Imagine that a perfectly healthy co-worker takes a couple of weeks of sick leave and returns…changed. Maybe they …
8 #008 — Husbandly Duties June 5, 2010
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. When I said, “I do” I had no idea what I was doing. All I knew for certain was that a very attractive young woman had agreed to “forsake all others” in favor of me. To my …
7 #007 — Verbal Warnings May 29, 2010
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. The highway department has taken to using large electronic signs to warn drivers about hazardous or difficult road conditions. For example, you might see a sign flashing the message: “Road Construction Ahead – Delays Possible”. This means, …
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. I was recently treated to a few minutes of humiliation by my credit card company. “No charge,” they said. “It’s just a courtesy service we provide.” Courtesy? That was like an angry cowboy mob telling a rustler …
5 #005 — Aliens Among Us May 15, 2010
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. Last week my son received a recruiting letter from Harvard. This took me by surprise. I had no idea that Ivy League schools were enrolling alien lifeforms now. He seemed normal enough when we brought him home …
4 #004 — Technolust May 8, 2010
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. I’ll never forget my first love; her pale beige skin nearly glowed and I couldn’t wait to get my hands on her full-sized keyboard. More than anything, I wanted her to be mine. The relationship lasted about …
3 #003 — Hiking Tips May 1, 2010
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. It’s summer and for a lot of you that means exploring the great outdoors on foot. You’ve probably already planned the routes you want to hike and the wondrous destinations you want to see. Right this moment …
2 #002 — Reformed Eater April 24, 2010
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. I see fat people. They’re everywhere. They don’t even know they’re fat. And the worst part is…I used to be one of them. A year ago I was surprised to discover I was fat. Middle-age spread had …
1 #001 — The Rites of Spring April 17, 2010
Sponsor: Hold your meetings online for just $49 a month Try GoToMeeting free. Ah the glorious colors of spring; the green grass, the red and yellow flowers, the blue streak as I swear at my dysfunctional lawn mower. After hibernating in an aluminum shed all winter, my mower is reluctant …
200 #200 — Budget Conscious April 10, 2010
My money and I have a troubled relationship. It’s always trying to run away from me. It’s not that I’m not nice to my money; I’m always taking it out to shows or shopping or for a nice dinner, but at the end of the evening it’s just gone. If …