Short Cummings Audio

by Kevin Cummings · · · · 5 subscribers

Life in six-minute slices. Every episode features a new funny story. Think Erma Bombeck with a PC, Dave Barry with recording software or Garrison Keillor with a microphone... Oh, wait. Strike that last one. If you enjoy clean humor and a slightly skewed perspective on family life (I have two teenage sons...of course my life is skewed-up) please give this show a listen.

199 #199 — Travel’s A Curse April 3, 2010
So, you want to help the economy improve? Take a hike. Really. Or a cruise. Or maybe a skiing vacation. The destination doesn’t matter so much, so long as you’re out traveling and spending money. And, so long as the destination doesn’t matter, might I humbly suggest you travel to …
198 #198 — Parental Advisory March 27, 2010
Parenting may be the biggest bait-and-switch in the history of humanity. The media image of parenthood shows happy couples frolicking in sunny parks with their little loved ones playing, catching Frisbees in their teeth and sniffing everyone on the playground. Oh. Wait. Those are dog food commercials. Still, the media …
197 #197 — Who Will Buy? March 20, 2010
The economy hasn’t been feeling too well lately. If it was a horse we’d be talking about sending it to the glue factory. If it was a car, we’d be looking to trade it in. If it was a character in a soap opera, it’d be that guy who is …
196 #196 — Special Deliveries March 13, 2010
A colleague returned to work after her twelve-week maternity leave full of stories about childbirth and infant care. To hear her talk, she and her husband are the first human beings in the entire history of the world to have had a child. This is completely ridiculous since my wife …
195 #195 — WP Hero? March 6, 2010
Twenty-five years ago I couldn’t get enough of video games. It was a hopeless, one-way affair. I gave my time and devotion and cash to the game industry and they returned questionable entertainment like Raiders of the Lost Ark on the original Atari console. This was a game which compensated …
194 #194 — Anagram of Pest Feb. 27, 2010
Pets is an anagram of pest. This revelation burst in upon me like the light of infinity while I was counting out three-hundred dollars in twenties for the nice lady behind the reception desk in the veterinarian’s office. Three-hundred bucks would make a nice pot in a poker game. It …
193 #193 — USA Number 2 Feb. 20, 2010
[Editor's Note: This week, instead of the usual humor, I wanted to share my experience as a spectator at the 2002 Winter Olympic Games. I hope you enjoy this little change of pace and rest assured that next week I'll be back with my usual smart-alec comments.] Watching a bobsled …
192 #192 — A Break from Cool Feb. 13, 2010
It was mid-December when my wife and I noticed that things were going missing around the house. Milk, olives, and even toilet paper had vanished. We weren’t without clues about the identity of the thief. A pair of size ten riot boots, a mountain of laundry that resembled a quarter-scale …
In late 2009 the scientific community went gaga over the discovery of a tool-using octopus. Well, actually there was more than one tool-using octopus, but since no one in the scientific community could remember whether the plural of octopus is octopi, octopusses or octo-pods, they decided to just report on …
If they made a movie about my professional life, it would be called Kevin Cummings and the ‘To-Do’ List of Doom. Each workday I start with a nice clean sheet of note paper which I sully with an ugly list of tasks I have to accomplish. This would be tolerable …
189 #189 — What’s Bugging You? Jan. 23, 2010
In late 2009 Consumer Reports evidently ran out of new products to test. What other explanation could account for their decision to conduct a phone survey to find out what annoys people the most? The answer to that question is obvious. Phone surveys….except that wasn’t one of the things they …
188 #188 — It’s A Date Jan. 16, 2010
When my wife and I went out to breakfast, the waitress asked if we were on our honeymoon. This was a reasonable question as we were eating breakfast in Niagara Falls, Canada which which attracts honeymooners the way a bus accident attracts personal injury lawyers. Pretty much everybody you meet …
187 #187 — Confidence Man Jan. 9, 2010
Really. It was my fault. If I didn’t want to answer highly technical questions from random strangers, I shouldn’t have worn my red fleece vest to the home improvement center. The disaster that happened the day I wore a white shirt and black tie to the Buy More electronics emporium …
186 #186 — Job Description Jan. 2, 2010
Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast If you have a job, you probably have a job description. This allows your manager to keep you centered on the tasks which are vital to maintaining a mission-centric focus for your forward-looking organization. It is also useful when your manager wants to evaluate you, discipline you, …
185 #185 — Childhood Games Dec. 26, 2009
Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast I remember running across the schoolyard; carefree and laughing as I engaged in the ritualized combat of games like “Tag,” “Capture the Flag,” and “Avoid the Bullies.” Well, actually, they weren’t that carefree. In fact, I remember spending a lot of time being out and even more …
184 #184 — The Reviews Are In! Dec. 19, 2009
Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast The main problem with film reviews — as far as I’m concerned — is that they tend to be abused by people trying to promote the films. Filmmakers and film reviewers are locked in an unhealthy symbiotic relationship like sharks and remoras, lichens and trees, and American …
Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast I’ve been thinking a lot about loss lately. Maybe it’s because fall is turning to winter; maybe it’s because I’m getting older; but most likely it’s because my favorite toaster just shuffled off it’s electric coil. Really. You have to understand that this was no ordinary toaster. …
Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast I love this time of year, when Christmas tiptoes stealthily into the stores. You know how it is. At first it’s just a candy cane or two and then an ornament or maybe a small string of lights. It’s so subtle it would be easy to miss. …
181 #181 — Falling into Winter Nov. 28, 2009
Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast I live in northern Utah which meteorologists describe as having an arid to semi-arid climate. Unlike some parts of the county where the weather never changes — I’m looking at you Southern California — we have definite seasons. If you start keeping track in July, the seasons …
Sponsored by: www.GotoMyPC.com/podcast With our sons grown and out of the house, my wife and I have completed our legally-mandated term of active service as parents. We find ourselves sliding giddily into the category of empty-nesters. We have the freedom to do what we want, when we want. Travel planning …