Cell Phone Operating Systems

by Unknown (noreply@blogger.com) · · · · 5 subscribers

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To make an opening statement both thought provoking and profound, I’m often required to fight the urge to use a quotation by someone who’s words can slice to the quick better than mine, like Mark Twain or Bronson Pinchot. In this case, I shall use something I heard over the …
A word of warning for you, my friends. I am feeling quite abstract today. It grips your brain tightly and squeezes, the wander lust of your newly chosen career dripping sweetly into your stomach as you reconsider certain decisions. Should I have quit my career so suddenly? Perhaps I shouldn’t …
In an effort to quell the combined angst I can almost smell emanating from the skulls of the five or six of you loyal fans who continually update your feeds and check the website for new material, I decided I should create a new chaptisode and illuminate you. I’ve also …
Shadows from the Delivery Man’s heels licked the floorboards of the dimly lit hallway as his nervousness rose, click-clacking towards the two giant wooden doors. Beads of sweat dropped everywhere, this didn’t add to his worry as today was one of the black suits in his rotation – but more-so …
I’ve been on a zen sort of mission to kick my stress lately, which I’m sure is pretty apparent from both my writing, and the photos of me on the internet with a bald head, wearing a diaper, and playing with what looks like chicken bones. Regardless of how I …
A Boy And His Stomach Sept. 15, 2007
I’ve been thinking. I know that’s a complicated statement, since those who know me personally are aware that when I say “thinking”, I actually mean “fell asleep on a pile of oily rags and now I’m wearing nothing but a bow-tie claiming that I’m the President of the ocean”. Whatever …
I’ve been a web design freelancer for a few years now, and I’ve been in the business for even more of said years, and I’ve continually been plagued by a simple question rolling around in my brain-pan, as I sit in this hospital bed after swallowing a hand full of …
Cord, I Cut At Thee Aug. 12, 2007
I’ve had my MacBook Pro for several months now, and the more and more I use it the more and more I love the computer itself, the Macintosh operating system, and the taste of a sweet Georgia peach while I’m rocking in my chair and surveying all of my land. …
When to Pass on Projects July 29, 2007
You just woke up. No really, you just did. You just woke up and after a hearty scratching of your places-most-private; you start the coffee maker and sit patiently as it brews its magical black deliciousness into the pot, or carafe if you’re a fancy fancy pants. Oooh, look at …
There are many rituals to my daily routine that conjure up fears that I am indeed a sixty five year old man who’s taken up residence in the hull of a well nourished twenty seven year old mid-westerner. I wear glasses to read. I have a thorough love of cigars. …
An Expensive Failure July 1, 2007
Audibly grunting into the folding chair, Lieutenant Colonel Tilean sat his cup of coffee onto the losing hand of an old poker game and opened the newspaper for what he liked to refer to as his “morning bullshit”. Lightly tapping the “recent headlines” section with his finger, the newspaper went …
By: Mikayla Jordan I love my husband more than Mary Jane loves Spider Man. I love him more than Kratos, God of War, loves brutally massacring hordes of undead minions of Olympus. I love him more than Samwise Gamgee loves Frodo Baggins…except, you know, not totally gay cause I’m not …
When my hair was down to my shoulders, I never used conditioner. This is likely because I was a moron – could be I still am. Because of this, it took thirty minutes to comb my hair (probably why it’s leaving me now) and an hour or so after showering …
I explained that I didn’t know much about computers, but that I had successfully installed a video card one time, and it did the trick – I was hired. I spent my days making near-minimum wage peddling expensive and cheaply constructed computers to the elderly and confused baby boomers. Every …
Edward and the Butcher June 3, 2007
With a deep breath and a long exhale, Edward leaned back in his chair and painted a wry grin on his face – as if he had just solved the mystery we know as “woman” or if a beam of light from the heavens painted the cheats codes to Mario …
Welcome back web designer! It’s time to hop on this train called adventure, riding on the tracks of knowledge, driven by an alcoholic conductor who is reading Swedish pornography in front of the passengers. It’s time for lesson number two of Your Web Design and You – The Design! Boy …
Hello there web designer! In this series you’ll be learning all about web design and its effects on your supple fresh mind. We’ll be exploring a number of topics about what web design is, how to use your web design, and what your web design can do for you. In …
Okay – great, I’m glad you made it here without too much trouble Mr. Doomenhousergloom – traffic can be a pain downtown sometimes. Okay – let’s get started and talk about goals. We’re thinking that we’d start with maybe three mockups. Two? Okay it looks like in my notes here …
There was a slight mechanical whir, then four soft nuetro-pads landed on the soft dirt with no more sound than an old person farting into a loveseat. Expelling its pressure breaks in a cone of steam akin to an old locomotive, the lower pod began to descend from the bottom …
Edward and His Reward April 22, 2007
The spinach and artichoke dip was a bit bland, but the barbeque weenies on toothpicks were the business, and Edward wasn’t going to be stopped on his journey for seconds. The buffet table was your typical Midwestern smorgasbord of casseroles, rice crispy treats in a variety of shapes, cheese, summer …