Cell Phone Operating Systems

by Unknown (noreply@blogger.com) · · · · 5 subscribers

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Monday, 10:07am If you’re listening to this… it’s already happened. They’ve activated the device and God only knows what’s become of the world. Let me start at the beginning – the now. I’m the production manager for TWiT.tv and I’ve only been working here for a few months. For those …
Have you given up? Has destiny dealt you another empty hand at the card table of life, forcing you to drown yourself in illegal backwoods moonshine and sell your body into prostitution to a one eyed broke-nose pimp named Blueberry Jones? It sounds like you’ve been doing design work for …
There were only two zombies left, and with one round left in the chamber – Edward took aim. As they lumbered forward he popped the cylinder into his palm and gave it a good spin, eyeballing it for solid chambers. Yup, only one. Lannin was to his back, the click-clack …
Welcome new employee – we’re glad to have you on board as a part of our team. The following is your freelancer company handbook. Now, this is by no means a legal or binding contract but for all intensive purposes it will serve as your guide to working and living …
Oh, Apple laptop – my heart yearns with the fire of a thousand suns for your companionship. My stomach turns and twists with the site of your beauty. Give yourself to me – unleash the harnesses of my PC oppression and let my body fold into yours with a lust …
The silky coffee soot resting at the bottom of the paper cup revealed itself upon the last swallow of the Grande-decaf-Americano – and one of only three things Edward looked forward to each day was now over. Edward tossed the cup into the trash basket under his desk, loaded up …
I had spent the previous day manipulating my surroundings like a top secret ninja on a top secret mission from a top secret… guy… who was top secret. I knew I would be playing hooky from work the next day so I decided to mask my office with a masterful …
Edward Calls In Sick Feb. 25, 2007
The alarm conveniently placed ten paces from his bed began its song of pain, and Edward dreamed of maverick robotic barking devil dogs. One eye peeled itself open and darted around the room making a careful survey – insuring to Edward that he was safe in his bedroom, and indeed …
As an independent contractor you may come across those wonderful clients who like to order up work from you, then forget your name when it comes time to pay the piper. You’ve done some work or you may have even completed the project and sent an invoice to the client …
We’re coming up on another fun adventure called “here government, have some of my money – I’m sure you’ll spend it wisely, not on things like backwoods moonshine and parts for a potato gun”, and I’m sure you’re all looking forward to it like a kid on gumdrop sunshine candy …
Okay, all right, everyone – everyone take a seat. Okay – to get started with our monthly all staff meeting for this month today on the beginning… of today… of the month… right now - I’ll recap a few of the items we discusses last month. Keith, yes you can …
It’s time to connect top professionals to employers with projects. It’s time stop worrying about finding “the right person” for the job. It’s time to get started posting projects and searching for those with the skills to get them done. It’s time to stop cooking up balls of cookie dough …
(Yes, this is a Prairie Home Companion spoof. Yes, I do a terrible Garrison Keillor impression. Yes, that’s my wife Mikayla helping out on the vocals. I, in fact, love the Prairie Home Companion. Don’t ask questions. Go to your room!) Welcome back to Lake WebDesignVilleTown where all the women …
Dear Google, Please buy me out and give me a billion dollars. Wait – no, wait… a million. Yeah, a million is fine – that’ll be just dandy. What? Why do I want you to buy me out? Well, there are a number of reasons I want that sweet, glorious, …
Hello and welcome to your new adventure in the world of independent contracting! Today – we’ll be traversing our way through receiving, completing, and invoicing a website project – and you will be making those tough calls that can either pay the mortgage for you – or have your family …
It’s hard to keep your hat on when standing on a maverick Cushman riding lawn mower traveling downhill at around 45 miles per hour – but I think the mixture of sweat, fear, and the impending come-to-Jesus moment I was about to have provided the glue affixing it firmly in …
You’ve made it. You’ve just hired employee number 30 in your mega, super, fantastical design agency, and things are definitely looking up. You just landed another six figure client, your spouse is happy you’ve stopped leaving your toenail clippings under their pillow, and the new rims on your Escalade look …
The more and more I write, the more and more I come to the realization that not only do I need writing classes, I also need to stop eating mayonnaise off of the floor. Also, I realize just how much my work environment impacts the work I do and subsequently …
Do you have an online portfolio? I mean, a website with a collection of images that shows your past design talent and maybe compromising photo of yourself at a drag party? Yeah, that one. Then tell me something – why on earth would you provide a design FOR FREE to …
Sound harsh? Well, okay – it was. I’m trying to get your attention, trying to “grab ya”, trying to get that delicious headline that makes you keep reading. Failed heart-palpitation inducing headline aside, I want to take time to address banks, and more importantly how they’ll affect your personal finances …